Introduction: Ever since the November 2024 American elections, there seems to be more and more reference to the “4B” movement. That this movement began in South Korea a number of years ago seems to be of little importance to any number of American women. This is especially true of those American women who are upset that Donald Trump won the presidential election.
The question few people seem to be asking is, Is this movement Biblical?
Please allow me to share a few random thoughts about this.
1 The 4B movement is not practical
As I have sifted through some of the material posted on the Internet, some common strands seem to come together. For the South Korean women, the 4 “B’s” stand for no dating, no sex, no marriage to men, and no children (the Korean negative or privative starts with a “B”). Some appear to have taken this even further and suggest, if not demand, no interactions with male-owned businesses and the like.
I have no idea of the proportion of male- versus female-owned businesses in South Korea but, allowing for 50-50, it does seem a bit peculiar to ignore many businesses. Further, most militaries, police and fire departments, utility workers, and more are mostly staffed with men. Hence, unless the 4B-followers form their own infrastructure, they will never be completely disassociated from men.
2 The 4B movement is not Biblical
Let’s take a look at each “tenet” of the 4B’s:
A No dating
This is an almost dangerous first step. Granted, in some cultures, marriages are arranged and I’ve read where, in some countries, the bride and groom are not introduced until they meet at the altar or wherever the ceremony takes place. There is an entire series of television shows in which alleged experts match couples. The US edition is “Married at First Sight” and is still in production. In the recent past, there were Australian and United Kingdom editions; I don’t know if these overseas editions are still in production.
But the real problem is that in many cultures, one person seeks another to date at first, then perhaps court, and maybe eventually marry. Not dating removes both people from what could be a positive experience, meeting and sharing various interests, developing friendships, etc.
That dating, in the current form, seldom if ever happened in Bible times has no bearing on modern culture. Few couples whom I know ever took part in arranged marriages but many couples dated first, then courted, then married.
It goes without saying that people need to be careful when seeking someone to date. Most people will give warning signs, red flags, obvious “don’t go there” behaviors, and so on. A saying mentioned in our church youth group many years ago was “Only date potential mates”!
Much wisdom in those four words, I would say.
B No sex/no marriage/no children
I’m lumping these three together because these are not easy to differentiate. Of course a 4B adherent could practice all of these at the same time, withholding sex before and after marriage, should she have been married before joining this movement.
Now to look at the ‘no sex” tenet or principle. In one sense, this could be commendable. According to the Bible, sex with any person outside of marriage to one’s own partner is sin. I’ll leave it to more qualified people to dissect the differences between, say, adultery and fornication—both of which are sin, per the Scriptures. I refer the reader to Scriptures such as these: Galatians 5:19, Romans 13:9, and 2 Peter 2:14 for adultery along with 1 Corinthians 6:18, Ephesians 5:3, Acts 15:29, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, plus others which mention fornication.
It’s clear that adultery and fornication, sexual sins committed outside of marriage to one’s own spouse, is dead wrong (sometimes, deadly wrong—look at the story of the foolish young man who walked straight into a harlot’s trap in Proverbs 7). That Christian youth need to be warned about this, and encouraged to walk a walk of purity before marriage is something to emphasize. The sad reality is that even those who claim to be Christian are increasingly seeing nothing wrong in having sexual relations before marriage. Like it or not, it’s still sin.
But where the 4B movement goes too far, if I interpret this correctly, is denying sex after marriage. Again, I have no idea what these adherents hope to gain by driving their spouses away from them. One of the beautiful things about marriage is the ability to not only share feelings but passion. Adam and Eve may have written love notes to each other but there was much more to it. Before the Fall, when all was perfect, truly how beautiful things must have been for them both.
Paul wrote under the supervision of the Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 7 that a man should have his own wife and a wife her own husband. He also laid out in black-and-white that neither one should deprive or hold off giving the other spouse “due benevolence” and most of us are familiar with what that term describes. Even later, Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 5:14 that younger women should marry, bear children, guide the house, and live a godly life so that the adversaries would have nothing evil to say about them.
3 The 4B movement is not sustainable
To follow up with a previous comment, the 4B movement rejects the idea of having children. Of note, South Korea has one of the lowest, if not the lowest, fertility or birth rates in the world. At less than 1 birth per couple, on average, it won’t be long before South Korea becomes a land with no future. Children have to be born in order to replace the older people who die. This shouldn’t be too hard to grasp but it seems there are some who just don’t get it.
Contrast this with various ethno-racial groups who take pride in having many children. To simply mention one instance recorded in an alleged conversation, a Muslim man was speaking with a resident of another country. Discussing families, the Muslim said, in so many words, you only have two children but I have five, and who’s going to be in control before too long?
In short, any number of women have either admired, or accepted, or even assimilated into this movement. It’s anybody’s guess what they hope to obtain or accomplish but carried to an extreme, this could result in disaster. Where there are no children, born to sustain a given country’s or nation’s population, there won’t be enough of a new generation to keep that culture alive. I ask everyone to simply seek the God of Heaven and His guidance in regards to this and every other situation which comes one’s way.
Scripture quotations taken from the King James Version of the Bible (KJV)