I admire Queen Vashti. In the midst of an unsavory
"scene she was brave enough to say no to that which was
blatantly wrong, and in resisting this insulting act of
indignity, she took a stand against the greatest power in her
universe. Good for her!
Submission does not mean that a wife is a sexual pawn in
the carnal desires of her husband. It was never God’s design
that a wife submit to her husband’s evil desires. In King
Ahasuerus’s case, this took the form of desiring to display
her before those who would have nothing in mind but lust.
What he asked was not submission; it was sexual slavery.
And I applaud Queen Vashti for her courageous decision.
Marriage does not give a husband the right or the license to
fulfill his basest fantasies by using his wife as a sexual
object.
Having been in ministry now for more than thirty-five
years, I’m virtually unshockable. But every once in a while I
have to suck in my breath when I hear what some men
demand of their wives, calling it submission. It is, rather,
insulting and shameful. So a word of warning here: Be
careful, men, what you ask of the woman God has given
you. Be certain that it doesn’t assault her dignity as a
person, or turn a precious human being, created in God’s
image, into a sexual object for your own carnal gratification."
- Chuck Swindoll, Esther: A Woman of Strength and Dignity