When I was young, my mother was quite a fan of a soap opera called “The Days of Our Lives.” I remember the title but I never would watch something like that. However, my mother enjoyed it and so what’s there to complain about.
As I was thinking of it, I felt that I should remember the days of my life. But, instead of "days," I need to put in the word "daze," which more clearly represents my life.
At times, I wish I was 16 again because I was the smartest person in the world. I knew everything; all you had to do was just ask me. Of course, back then, nobody asked me anything.
When I got older, I realized that there were a lot of things I did not know. Like one of the FBI directors said, "I don't know what I don't know." I relate to that statement. How my life would change if I knew what I didn’t know?
Looking back, I must confess that my life has been primarily in a daze. At the time, I did not realize it. It wasn't until recently that I realized how much of my life was in a daze.
As a veteran husband, I’ve come to know how much of a daze I have been living in. It does not bother me what I don’t know. It has never been an issue with me as far as I can remember. Then, of course, my memory is in a daze.
It occurred to me this past week. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage asked me a question when I came in the door from a day at the office.
“Have you seen how much my pineapple tree has grown?”
I did not know where to start with this one. I just muttered something like, "that's really amazing, isn't it."
When I said that, she stared at me with one of "her stares."
I'm quite familiar with that stare, and so I knew I was in trouble, but I did not know the trouble I was in or why.
I just flashed a smile in her direction and tried to walk past her, but nothing of the sort happened that way.
“You didn’t know,” she said with both hands on her hips, “that I planted a pineapple tree in our front yard. Did you?”
Well, she got me there. I could not tell a pineapple tree from a tomato plant when it comes right down to it. That’s how much of a daze I am in.
With that information, she took me outside to where the pineapple tree was and showed it to me.
"See," she said, pointing at the pineapple tree, "there is the pineapple tree."
Now my daze is getting cloudier.
I need to understand what to do when my wife catches me in such a dazed position. How in the world do I get out of such a predicament?
"That's a pineapple tree," I said with as much glee in my voice as possible. "That is an amazing tree. You've done a great job with that tree. You must be thrilled."
I stopped to catch my breath because I didn’t know where to go from there. I had no idea what I was saying and no idea if she understood what I was saying.
I paused and glanced in her direction and got my answer.
She said, "That is my favorite plant that I've ever planted. It looks so wonderful. I can't wait to see it grow even bigger."
With that, she smiled one of those smiles that told me I was out of trouble, at least for this moment.
We then walked back into the house, and both of us were happy but for different reasons.
I'm not sure how long she had that pineapple tree planted in our front yard, and I was afraid to ask because it may have been weeks or months. I wasn't going to spoil a moment by expressing the level of my dazement.
Later on, as I was drinking coffee in my chair, I got to thinking about something very serious. What other areas of my life are a daze?
I could ask my wife, but then I would learn more about my daze then I needed to know at the time. One daze at a time is enough for me to handle. I'm really not ready to find out how much I don't know at this point in my life. It may be too overwhelming.
Or, I could start paying attention to my life each day. That is a challenging task, but maybe it is something I need to do. Every day I should ask my question, “What don’t I know today?”
Maybe I shouldn't do it every day; maybe I should do it once a week. Or thinking more along that line, maybe I should do it once a month.
If I could learn once a month what I don't know, I think my life would increase in a positive direction.
In my Bible reading for the evening, I read what David said. "Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am” (Psalm 39:4).
If I know myself from God's perspective, that will be one step in receiving from God what he wants me to have.