Contributed by Marcus Naugler on Nov 23, 2001
based on 7 ratings
| 2,401 views
George Burns, an expert on growing old, said you know your getting old when:
-The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals
-You get winded playing chess
-Your children start to look middle-aged
-you sit in a rocking chair but you can’t get it going
-dialing long distance wears you
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Contributed by Marcus Naugler on Nov 21, 2001
based on 19 ratings
| 3,250 views
Once upon a time, the animals decided they should do something meaningful to meet the problems of the new world. So they organized a school. They adopted an activity curriculum of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all the animals took all the
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 14, 2001
based on 50 ratings
| 2,306 views
Paul Harvey made this comment on one of his radio programs. He said, "You know, in every Ramada Inn in the U.S. there is an AIDS prevention kit in the drawer of the night-stand." Then he repeated it. He said, "In every Ramada Inn in the U.S., in the
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 14, 2001
based on 35 ratings
| 2,171 views
ILL. Marguerite Higgins won a Pulitzer prize for reporting what she heard from an old army sergeant in Korea during the Korean conflict. 15,000 of our soldiers had been dug in for several weeks, facing more than 100,000 communist soldiers on the other side of the valley.
They had been
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 14, 2001
based on 130 ratings
| 2,870 views
ILL. I like the story about a rather legalistic Seminary student who wanted to have a scriptural basis for everything he did. He felt he was on solid ground if he could quote Bible book, chapter & verse to okay his actions.
He did all right with that until he began to fall in love with a
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 14, 2001
based on 131 ratings
| 3,325 views
In "Acts 29," Dr. Terry Teykl relates that one day the mayor of a small city was driving through the city square when he noticed 2 city workers doing something rather unusual. Along one side of the main street, they were working steadily. One of the men was digging a hole in the ground, & the
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 13, 2001
based on 69 ratings
| 2,124 views
The story is told that in the latter 1800’s, Alfred Lord Tennyson invited a Russian nobleman to his estate. And early one morning this nobleman took off with dogs & guns & servants to go hunting.
At mid-day he returned & Lord Tennyson asked him how he did. He answered, "Not very well. I shot
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 13, 2001
based on 81 ratings
| 2,918 views
ILL. We are like the man who approached God & asked Him, "Lord, up in heaven how much time is a million years?" "Well," God said, "a million years is but a second in heaven."
"Oh!" said the man, "and up in heaven how much money is a million dollars?" "Well," said God, "a million dollars is
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 13, 2001
based on 52 ratings
| 1,442 views
Ann Weems wrote: "It was a family treasure. That golden vase, the priceless vase that had belonged to my great-grandmother & my grandmother & now to my mother. The vase sat on the mantle, out of reach of little fingers. However, I managed to reach it. I climbed to reach it, & I broke it. I
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Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 13, 2001
based on 81 ratings
| 1,635 views
Some years ago, a cartoon appeared in newspapers across the land. It pictured two farmers in Kentucky, standing in a field as snow fell softly. One turned to the other & asked, "Anything exciting happen today?" "Nah, nothing exciting," said the other farmer. "Oh, there was a baby born over at
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Contributed by Steve Malone on Nov 13, 2001
based on 74 ratings
| 2,770 views
A chauffeur had driven the chemistry professor to dozens of speaking engagements. He’d heard the same canned speech scores of times. He said on the way to another engagement, "Professor, I believe I could give your speech myself; I’ve heard it so often." The professor said, "I’ll bet you $50 you
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Contributed by Steve Malone on Nov 13, 2001
based on 153 ratings
| 3,580 views
Here is a parody of Luke’s account of the birth of Christ, that really underscores just how far our world has let the true meaning of Christmas slip away from them.
"And there were in the same country children keeping watch over there stockings by the fireplace. And lo! Santa Claus came upon
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Contributed by Steve Malone on Nov 13, 2001
based on 244 ratings
| 9,231 views
YOU KNOW CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE WHEN:
10) There are more pine needles on your carpet than on your tree
9) The credit card is smoked along with the turkey and ham.
8) It’s A Wonderful Life has been shown for the 13th time
7) A trip to the mall and back is more challenging then the Indy 500
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