Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 16, 2008
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LET THERE BE PEACE
"Those kids will drive you crazy!"
That's what the old man's friends told him when he bought the small, well kept house just down the street from the local junior high school. Contrary to their warnings though, the man's first few weeks in his new house went without a
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 16, 2008
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THE EMPEROR MOTH
A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth and took it home so he could watch the moth come of the cocoon. One day a small opening appeared. The man sat and watched the moth for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 16, 2008
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GOD'S PICTURE
There's a story of a third grade student who was asked to draw a picture of what she thinks God looks like. The little girl showed the teacher - teacher said "Wait a minute, that looks like a man - that's not God!"
And the little girl said "Well, I don't know what God
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 16, 2008
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FATHER AND A DAD
A Father isn't a Dad because he has given you 'life'.
Or just because your Mother is his wife.
If you have a problem, a Father may not care.
A Dad will ask about your problem, and let you know he is there.
A Father thinks that respect is due him
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 12, 2008
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The Elephant and the Ambulance
A woman’s red station wagon was crushed by an elephant at a circus.
The owners of the animal apologized, explaining that the animal, for some reason, simply liked to sit on red cars.
In spite of the damage, the woman’s car was still drivable.
But on the way to the
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 12, 2008
LATE NIGHT?
The drunk husband snuck up the stairs quietly. He looked in the bathroom mirror and bandaged the bumps and bruises he’d received in a fight earlier that night. He then proceeded to climb into bed, smiling at the thought that he’d pulled one over on his wife.
When morning came, he
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 12, 2008
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The Valuable Bible
A story was told of a man who loved old books. He met an acquaintance who had just thrown away a Bible that had been stored in the attic of his ancestral home for generations.
“I couldn’t read it,” the friend explained. “Somebody named Guten-something had printed it.”
“Not
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 9, 2008
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THE LOSER
For Sparky, school was all but impossible. He failed every subject in the eighth grade. He flunked physics in high school, getting a grade of zero. Sparky also flunked Latin, Algebra, and English.
He didn't do much better in sports. Although he did manage to make the school's golf
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 9, 2008
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ILLUSTRATION: I LOVE YOU ANYWAY
Overcoming the odds is like the man who finally decided to ask his boss for a raise in salary.
It was Friday. He told his wife that morning what he was about to do, All day the man felt nervous and apprehensive.
Late in the afternoon he summoned the courage to
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 9, 2008
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ILLUSTRATION: THE CUSSING DEACON
A Preacher was made aware that he had a Deacon in his church who was from time to time known to cuss.
In his attempt to help the Deacon overcome this terrible habit, the Preacher decided he should spend some personal time with the Deacon so they could have a long
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 8, 2008
The High Dive
Harley and Matt lived in a nice neighborhood where the people were friendly-except for one man who lived at the end of the street in a big house with a gigantic swimming pool.
His pool had the highest diving board they had ever seen-so high they could see it over the big fence that
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 8, 2008
The List
Once upon a time a woman was married to a perfectionist husband. No matter what his wife did for him, it was never enough.
At the beginning of each day, he would make out his list of chores for her to do, and at the end of each day, he would scrutinize it to make sure she had done all
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 7, 2008
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REAL PEARLS
The cheerful girl with bouncy curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"
Her mother checked the back of the little foil box and said,
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 7, 2008
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THE ROPE
The story tells about a mountain climber who wanted to climb the highest mountain. He begun his adventure after many years of preparation. But since he wanted the glory just for himself, he decided to climb the mountain alone.
The night felt heavy in the heights of the mountains, and the
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on Apr 29, 2008
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THE ARREST
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain..."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on Apr 29, 2008
THE WHISPER
A young man once lost his job, and growing somewhat desperate about his plight, went to see an old preacher that he knew. As he poured out his heart to the preacher he angrily declared "I've begged and begged God to say something to help me, preacher. Why doesn't God answer?"
The old
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on Apr 29, 2008
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GENGHIS KHAN'S HAWK
One morning Genghis Khan, the great king and warrior, rode out into the woods to have a day’s sport. Many of his friends were with him. They rode out gaily, carrying their bows and arrows. Behind them came the servants with the hounds. It was a merry hunting party. The woods
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on Apr 29, 2008
FROGS IN A CREAM BOWL
Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.
One was an optimistic soul.
But the other took the gloomy view.
"We’ll drown," he lamented without much ado,
and with a last despairing cry,
he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye."
Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin,
"I can’t
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