Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Nov 6, 2011
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SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS
He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
"Can I have a puppy?"
"Sure," said the farmer.
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Oct 22, 2011
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PAINT ME WITH DIAMONDS
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Oct 9, 2011
THE MISER
A man calls up this very rich man in the community and says, "Our records shows that you have never given to our charity and we were wondering if you would like to donate?"
The rich man replied, "Does your record show I have a elderly mother who was left penniless when my father died,
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Oct 9, 2011
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
At an evening social for army officers and their wives, the commanding general of the base had been given a special award and proceeded to drone on in a long speech of thanks. A lieutenant mumbled to the woman at his side, "Why they would award him a prize is beyond me. He's
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Oct 7, 2011
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TRYING
"What are you doing, son?" the storekeeper asked a little boy whose eyes were on a large basket of apples outside the storefront. "Are you trying to steal one of my
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Oct 7, 2011
NO TRESPASSING
"No Trespassing" sign in West Texas, with the ranchers name signed in blood red next to the warning:
"STOP. I know you’re thinking about crossing this gate. What you should know is that if the
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Sep 29, 2011
OREL HERSHISER, SINGER
A number of years ago Orel Hershiser was pitching for the Los Angeles Dodgers. They had just won the World Series, and Orel had been named the most valuable player of the series.
One of the TV shows about the series showed him in the dugout just before the ninth inning
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Sep 29, 2011
based on 4 ratings
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WHOSE BOY ARE YOU?
"I was about 12 years old when a new preacher came to my church. I would always go in late and slip out early. But one day the preacher said the benediction so fast I got caught and had to walk out with the crowd. I could feel every eye in church on me.
"Just about the time I
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Sep 27, 2011
based on 3 ratings
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WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR?
Four friends were talking about death. One of them asked the other three, "When you are in your casket and people are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first man said, "I'd like to hear them say that I was a fine physician in my time
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Sep 25, 2011
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ARE YOU PREPARED?
One day, a king died. His servants spread the unbelievable news all over the palace. He had died in his bed of natural causes.
"Where has he gone?" asked one of the king's wisest counselors
"Why, to Heaven of course!" answered all the others.
"No", said the other gravely, "I
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Sep 18, 2011
VALUE FROM BROKENNESS
"Going once, going twice, sold for $7,000.00!" The auctioneer said right before his gavel hit the table. Rita Coors was elated. She'd just purchased a porcelain mask, hand painted by John Denver.
She couldn't wait to hold it in her hands. As the auctioneer at the 1997
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Sep 3, 2011
Joseph Cook: Do you know a book that you are willing to put under your head for a pillow when you are dying? Very well; that is the book you want to study when you
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Nov 23, 2010
THE BOUQUET OF LOVE
In A Second Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Rev. John R. Ramsey tells how in one church a certain person provided him with a rose boutonniere for the lapel of his suit every Sunday. At first he really appreciated it but then it sort of became routine.
Then one Sunday it
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Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Jan 14, 2001
based on 290 ratings
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The father says, "You better get ready. The bus will be here in a minute to pick you up and take you to Sunday School." The Boy asked,"Did you go to Sunday School when you were a boy?" The father replied, "Yes I did."
The
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