Wayne Was Quite Bright And Very Interested In ...

Wayne was quite bright and very interested in theology and spiritual matters. But there was a vacuum in the “inner parts” of our relationship. When I’d bring up a problem in my life, or express sadness or fear, Wayne would simply go away.

It was a little eerie. I’d be sharing something very personal, then lob the conversational ball over to Wayne. And he’d look blank, be quiet and then start talking about something else. He wasn’t being hostile at all. He just had no place in his head for the deeper connection.

One night I received a call from his wife. She told me Wayne had been a closet addict of prescription pills for years, and tonight was having an adverse drug reaction. I arranged the emergency help he needed and got him into treatment.

Wayne’s addiction wasn’t a huge surprise to me. In fact, it helped answer some questions for me. Apparently, he handled all his feelings, needs, and relational struggles through drugs. He wasn’t a “bad guy” – just someone who had no ability to be intimate.

Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Safe People (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Pub. 1995), 42-43