Sermon Central
-
Man-Speak PRO
Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 6, 2010 (message contributor)
MAN-SPEAK
Men don't always say what they mean.
When a man says "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN."
He means: "I have no idea how it works."
When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD."
He means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
When a man says "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
He means: "Are you still talking?"
When a man says: "IT'S A GUY THING."
He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
When a man says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
He means: "Why isn't it ready yet?"
When a man says "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
He means: "I have probably severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt, so get over here and help me!"
When a man says "I CAN'T FIND IT."
He means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hand, so I'm completely clueless."
When a man says "I HEARD YOU."
He means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you'll not spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
When a man says "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!"
He means: "Oh please don't try on one more outfit, we're late and I'm starving."
When a man says "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
He means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
When a man says "I don't think I can go today."
He means: "Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never...
Continue reading this sermon illustration (Free with PRO)Related Sermon Illustrations
-
Sin Separates. Sin Divides. Sin Brings Death To ... PRO
Contributed by Clark Tanner on Sep 23, 2004
Sin separates. Sin divides. Sin brings death to relationships and destroys fellowship. God unites. God brings oneness and unity. On the day of Pentecost, God reversed the Babel process, and with one language from heaven, He demonstrated that all in Him will be sharers of one divine ...read more
-
Giving In Theory PRO
Contributed by Susan Blader on Jan 21, 2007
Giving in Theory The story is told of the missionary who asked a new convert, “Pablo, if you had a hundred sheep, would you give fifty of them to the Lord’s work?” “You know I would gladly give them,” he replied. “Pablo, if you had fifty cows, would you give twenty-five to the Lord’s ...read more
-
Stephen Olford Tells Of A Baptist Minister During ...
Contributed by Jeremy Houck on Mar 5, 2005
Stephen Olford tells of a Baptist Minister during the American Revolution named Peter Miller, who lived in Pennsylvania and was friends with George Washington. But Miller had a bitter enemy named Michael Whitman, who did all that he could to frustrate and humiliate the good reverend. One day Mr. ...read more
-
What Business Is Our Church In? We Are Not All ... PRO
Contributed by Jay Robison on Aug 30, 2004
What business is our church in? We are not all about buildings and budgets. Although it is important for us to be good stewards of those, they are not our primary business. We are in the people business. God has created and sustained this church that people may gather together and praise Jesus ...read more
-
Ten Years After World War Ii, A West German ... PRO
Contributed by Jeremy Houck on Mar 5, 2005
Ten years after World War II, a West German Christian met with some Christians from Warsaw, Poland. He wanted to know if it would be possible for a group of Christians from Germany to come to Poland to apologize for the brutality inflicted upon the Poles during the war. The Polish Christians, ...read more
Related Sermons
-
Adam Where Are You?
Contributed by Curtis Mathis on Feb 7, 2015
This sermon was used for our Men's Breakfast, as a challenge to them.
-
Legacy
Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Jun 16, 2013
The greatest thing we can leave our offspring is a godly legacy. This sermon speaks of 3 things necessary to leave godly legacy and features a powerful personal testimony by a young man impacted by the legacy of his godly grandfather.
-
-
Noah: A Godly Father In An Evil Age
Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Jun 22, 2016
Noah was a great builder, as well as a faithful preacher. But did you know he was also a great father? A Father's Day sermon.
-
The Heart Of The Father - A Fathers Day Message Series
Contributed by Dean Courtier on Aug 13, 2014
An exposition of the story of the Prodigal Son
