Sermon Central
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Speaking Of Gender Issues, I Heard That A While ...
Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Nov 24, 2008 (message contributor)
Speaking of gender issues, I heard that a while back Bill Gates decided it was time to figure out what gender a computer is. I mean, we assign gender to a lot of inanimate objects. In fact, in Spanish every noun is either male or female.
Bill Gates called together his top male experts and his best female experts and told them he’d give them a day to come up with a recommendation for what gender a Computer should be. Needless to say, they couldn’t agree. Here’s what they came up with.
The women said computers should be masculine. Here were their reasons.
• A computer is definitely masculine because … the only way to get their attention, is to turn them on;
• They have a lot of data … but they are still clueless;
• They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem … and …
• As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you’d waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The men’s group said computers should definitely be feminine because:
• No one but their Creator understands their internal logic;
• The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
• Even the smallest mistakes are stored permanently in long-term memory for later retrieval … and …
• As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
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A Recent E-Mail Asked Readers To Reflect On The ... PRO
Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 28, 2003
A recent e-mail asked readers to reflect on the following questions: 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. 2. Name the last five heisman trophy winners. 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest. 4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 5. Name the ...read more
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Richard Dehaan Tells Of A Soldier Who Was Doing ... PRO
Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Jan 27, 2003
Richard Dehaan tells of a soldier who was doing sentry duty on the front line in WWI. After being relieved of duty, as a Christian, he wanted to pray, to thank God for protecting him and to ask specifically for his continued protection. But the enemy lines were very close and he couldn’t go far, so ...read more
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1 Corinthians 13 — Church Version PRO
Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 28, 2003
1 Corinthians 13 - church version “If our church could hold services in five languages or our members could speak three, but we didn’t love others, we would be all talk and no action. If our church really expressed it’s spiritual gifts with wholehearted service and we became spiritual giants, but ...read more
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Church Membership Vows PRO
Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 28, 2003
Church Membership Vows Will you ___________, take your church to be your church; to live together in the holy covenant of membership? Will you love, comfort, honor, and keep your church and be faithful to your church as long as you live? Do you ___________, take your church to be your church, ...read more
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The Price Of A Miracle PRO
Contributed by David Yarbrough on Mar 24, 2003
THE PRICE OF A MIRACLE Let me tell you about Tess. Tess was a precocious eight-year-old little girl. One day she heard her mom and dad talking in a serious and somber tone about her little brother, Andrew. Tess didn’t understand everything that they were saying, but she got the gist: Her little ...read more
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