Sermon Central
-
Five Steps To Respond To A Hurtful And Hateful Email
By SermonCentral on Jul 7, 2022
“You have no business being the pastor of our church. All you are interested in is getting your own way and changing all the good things we have going. People are saying you should be fired. I agree with them.”
“You have no business being the pastor of our church. All you are interested in is getting your own way and changing all the good things we have going. People are saying you should be fired. I agree with them.”
Yes, it’s a real email.
Yes, it’s from a church member to a pastor.
The Internet has certainly brought us incredible ways to do commerce, to get information, and to communicate.
But it has an ugly and evil side to it as well.
It allows cowardly critics to hide behind a keyboard and cut people to the core through blogs, social media, and email.
So how do we respond when we get a hurtful email?
The pastor who received that cruel, cowardly, and vitriolic email asked me that question. Here is how I responded:
-
Pray about it.
Do not respond in a quick-tempered, fleshly anger. Give it to God. Let Him guide you. Pray for wisdom and pray for those who attack you.
-
Wait.
Some leaders work on the 24-hour rule. They will not respond to a hateful email immediately. Some wait longer. They are waiting on God. They are waiting to have a more tempered perspective. And they are waiting to get input from others.
-
Get godly counsel.
I was recently accused of plagiarism in an email, a first for me. I was incensed. After a time of prayer, I knew a part of my anger was due to my own pride and ego. I pride myself on writing original content, so the accusation of copying someone else really irked me. But I sought the wisdom of others. I eventually responded strongly, but nothing like my original thoughts. The wisdom of others saved me from writing something I would have likely regretted for a long time.
-
Decide to respond or ignore.
Not every email, tweet, blog post, or Facebook post is worthy of a response. Sometimes it’s just best not to engage the critic. That can be tough, because we so much desire to defend ourselves. But if you do respond, I recommend this next step.
-
Call or meet with the critic if at all possible.
I know it’s not always possible to have a verbal conversation with someone. But meeting face-to-face is ideal, and talking by telephone is better than a written response. Many critics are taken aback when they see the willingness of the person they attacked willing and desirous to meet with them.
Leadership is tough, particularly in the church. You will get those “nasty-grams” from time to time. Remember the wisdom of Proverbs: “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath” (Proverbs 15:1).
It’s not always the easiest path, but sometimes it’s the best and most godly path.
Related Preaching Articles
-
Senior Pastor: Friend Or Foe
By Josh Griffin on Sep 14, 2024
Veteran youth director Josh Griffin gives seasoned advice to senior pastors on developing their relationship with their youth ministry leader.
-
The Barnabas Factor: Five Practices To Help You Find More Leaders
By Larry Osborne on Jan 30, 2024
Larry Osborne explains "the Barnabas Factor" in successfully building church teams.
-
10 Suggestions For The Shepherd Of A Stagnant Flock
By Joe Mckeever on Dec 13, 2022
Non-growing churches are not healthy, at least in some significant ways. Joe McKeever gives his input to help revive a church that seems to have "plateaued."
-
Top 5 Lessons From Dr. Adrian Rogers' Preaching Ministry
By James O. Davis on Mar 6, 2020
James O. Davis shares powerful principles from the life and ministry of the great preacher, Dr. Adrian Rogers.
-
52 Quotes For This Generation Of Church Leaders
By Brad Lomenick on Apr 15, 2020
52 insightful quotes from Brad Lomenick that pertain to the preaching and pastoral audience.
-
3 Unspoken Promises People Expect Leaders To Keep
By Hal Seed on Mar 7, 2020
Every Christian leader I know wrestles with leading with diligence. Become aware of the promises you make as a leader, especially the ones you might not know about.
-
Sermon Feedback: 6 Questions For Better Preaching
By Peter Mead on Jul 20, 2024
Do you want quality feedback on your sermons? Peter Mead offers insights into the right kind of questions preachers should be asking.
-
Dealing With The Preacher-Eaters
By Joe Mckeever on Mar 21, 2020
Joe McKeever shares practical advice for dealing with the self-appointed church rulers who try to dominate your preaching and your ministry.
