Ah, if only I could go back to those wonderful days! If only I
could be a young man again and feel the rush of victory! But
I cannot. I am old and tired, and I feel defeated. I have lost
so much. My body is weary and my soul is drained. If only I
could go back and feel victory again.
There was a day – and you will not believe it to look at me
now – but there was a day when they thought I was too
young, too small, too inexperienced, and that he would
destroy me in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye. But he
did not. There was something special about me then. I had
it all going on. I only wish I could go back to that one special
day when the giant fell before me.
Ah, what a glorious day! And what a direction it gave to my
life! It does seem, doesn’t it, that there are those very
special moments when the direction of life is set, and
everything after that is different? It does seem, doesn’t it,
that you come to critical moments, make-or-break moments,
that determine everything thereafter? That was the way it
was for me the day I slew the giant.
But today – can you hear this? Today, even though that
horrible curse is long gone, it feels as though it is back. It
feels as though my victories have evaporated and my hopes
have died. I am learning, to my shame, that you cannot stop
evil once and think it’s done with. You have to deal with evil
again and again. And, deepest of all, you have to deal not
only with the evil out there; you have to struggle with the evil
that is in here.
May I share my story with you? Shall I tell you my history,
that you may learn? Some of you are very young, and they
tell you not to bother, for the world out there is too much for
you and will take you down. Maybe my story will help you
know that you can win a victory.
And then there are others of you who are young in the Lord –
not necessarily young in years, but young in the Lord. You
have not known Him very long, and you feel that great giants
are coming up against you. Maybe I can help you
understand what will beat them back.
Moreover, I am sure there are some of you who are losing
your battles. There are some who have elected not to fight
at all, but just to line up on the side of evil and not the Lord’s
side. You’re here today, but it’s just your body and not your
heart. You are giving in when the world out there confronts
you. You are not even trying to fight. My story is for you too.
I
First, may I introduce myself? My name is David. I reign as
king of the tribes of Israel. My capital city is Jerusalem,
which I have made into a glorious place for my people and
for the Lord. But it is also a city of temptation and a place of
intrigue. There is something about capital cities – something
both wonderful and destructive, both attractive and repulsive.
I have reigned many years in Jerusalem, and am nearly
ready to go to my fathers. As I look back on my life, I see so
many victories, but I also see so many defeats. I see the
presence of God in so many ways, but I also see the power
of evil. Oh, if only I could go back! If only I could find the
flush of victory I first knew that day in the valley of Elah!
You see, I was but a boy. Three of my seven brothers had
gone up with King Saul to fight the Philistines, who seemed
determined to wipe us off the face of the earth. I was too
young for the army, nor did my father Jesse want to spend
any more of his sons for the dubious glory of war. But he did
want to know how his sons fared in that crucible, and,
knowing that a soldier is always hungry, he sent me with
bread and cheese to feed them and find out if they were well.
As I came to Elah that day, I could sense that something
special was afoot. The soldiers of Israel were murmuring
among themselves. I stopped to listen to their talk, and
heard that the enemy facing them had brought to the
battleground a new weapon, designed for mass destruction.
There was fear in the army of Israel. They were paralyzed,
unable to face this turn of events. What was it that the
Philistines had? What was this dangerous weapon? A giant
of a man, Goliath by name, who stood taller than anyone
they had ever seen, and who was challenging all comers to a
winner-take-all brawl.
When I got down to where my brothers were camped, I
looked beyond the little stream that meandered through the
place, and saw what they saw, heard what they heard. A
monstrously ugly man, parading up and down, bellowing and
cursing and waving a huge sword. Over and over he
screamed out, “I defy the ranks of Israel. Give me a man,
that we may fight together.” What arrogance! What
monstrous evil! To defy Israel is to defy Israel’s God. Surely
this giant would not dare to take on God Himself, would he?
It was then I learned one great truth, and that is that evil
does not recognize the authority of God, nor do many of
God’s people! I found that not only is there a whole world of
people out there who act as though God does not exist, but
also there are many of us who do not believe He really has
any power. The first thing I learned about the triumph of evil
is that it will prosper as long as God’s people let fear instead
of faith drive their hearts.
I was determined that day that I would show the armies of
Israel and of the Philistines that there is no god like our God.
And so, scarcely without thinking, I went to King Saul’s tent, I
volunteered for what others thought was a suicide mission,
and I went on the battlefield for my Lord. Armed with nothing
more than a sling and a stone, I felled the giant and saved
the day.
Ah, what a rush! What a victory! To take arms against a
sea of troubles and by pursuing, end them. There is nothing
more exciting than that! And when they cheered, I felt great
exhilaration. When they carried me from the camp to the
city, I heard nothing but adulation. I thought my life was set
on a course that would be only finer and better, from that day
forward. Victory, total victory.
Except for two things. Just two flies in the ointment. First,
my brother Eliab said to me, “What are you doing? I know
the evil of your heart.” What a thing to say! The evil of my
heart indeed! I was disappointed in my brother.
And then I found that the victory was not total. Soon after I
downed Goliath, evil raised its ugly head again. And again.
And again and again. Not Goliath himself, of course. But
giants of temptation and jealousy, hostility and arrogance,
that would not fall so quickly as Goliath. Here I am, at this
point in my life, and it feels as though Goliath is back. I do
not know whether I can defeat him again. I do not know
whether I can beat down evil one more time.
II
A few things you should know – just a few, though there is so
much I could tell you. I could tell you, for example, that even
though King Saul should have been grateful, since I took
care of his biggest problem, he became insanely jealous.
When the people of Israel sang, “Saul has slain his
thousands, but David his ten thousands”, his mood became
dark and dismal. He tried to kill me, and if it had not been for
his son Jonathan, my closest friend, and for his daughter
Michal, whom I married, he would done it. I had to run for my
very life. I learned something more about evil. I learned that
some people, even when God does something spectacular
for them, are so focused on themselves that they cannot
celebrate the goodness of God. I learned that evil lies at the
door marked jealousy, and when we do not see God at work,
we will imagine the worst and will turn on our best friends.
Evil, working through jealousy, makes friends into enemies
and turns victories into defeats.
I could tell you more. I could tell you of the painful death of
Jonathan, the horrible suicide of Saul, the poignant fate of
Abner. I could tell you how those who presented themselves
as my friends took it upon themselves to slaughter Saul’s
survivors, supposing that they were doing something to help
me. And I did not know how to correct them. I did not
understand how to do anything other than to use evil ways to
fight evil. So I killed those who had killed for me! I used the
very same terror tactics that they had used. Why did I not
see that evil begets evil? Why did I not understand that
hostility breeds hostility? There is so much I did not know or
trouble to learn about the power of evil. So much.
Ah, if only I could go back to the rush of unadulterated
victory! If only I could know again what it is to live in triumph,
without regrets. If only ...
III
But there is more that I must tell you. I wish I did not have
to, but I must. For I am sure that what I am about to report is
the one thing that has shaped my life and has colored
everything. I am about to tell you how I learned that
ultimately evil comes from within. You can slay your giants
out there, and feel a flush of victory, for a while. You can
discover that evil does not recognize the authority of God
and that many of God’s people are hypocrites; but it is
another thing to discover that hypocrisy in yourself. You can
discern that when others are jealous of you, they become the
instruments of evil; but it is quite another thing to descend
into jealousy yourself and to become the very purveyor of
evil on your own.
Oh, my friends, open your ears! Listen to the king of Israel.
For, sordid though it is, this may be your story too. Evil
knows no boundaries; it respects no station in life.
Temptation strikes at the heart of everyone, without
exception. And some of us have not learned to recognize it,
so we fall prey. Listen to the heart of the king!
I sinned. I sinned greatly. There is no pretty way to tell it. I
sinned profoundly. I saw one day, from my palace window,
the woman Bathsheba, and I wanted her. I wanted her!
That she was another man’s wife did not deter me. I wanted
her, I had the power, and I took her. And not only did I take
her as my lover, I arranged to have her husband killed, so
that she and the baby she was carrying could be mine, all
mine. Why did I do this? Whatever possessed me to
imagine I could get away with it? There you have another
truth about evil – that it is linked with power. When we have
power, we will use it, and we will use it for selfish purposes.
Someone says that power corrupts, and he is right. Because
I could do it, I did it. Because I had power, I used it. And
papered it over with pretty words and flimsy stories.
Do you see where evil lies? It lies out there, in the Goliaths,
yes. In the enemies of our nation, in those who oppress, in
those who work against us. Of course. No question. But a
more terrible evil, a more insidious danger, lies within us. It
is deep in our hearts. It is ready to leap to the front. And if
drunk with sight of power, we loose wild tongues that have
not God in awe, such boastings as the Gentiles use, or
lesser breeds without the law – then I can only pray, Lord
God of hosts, be with us yet, lest we forget, lest we forget.
Because of my sin with Bathsheba – because I did not fight
the evil in my own soul – many things happened. The child
she bore died. The people turned against me, and rebellion
arose throughout the land. One of my own sons, Absalom,
tried to set me aside, and, although I had commanded
General Joab to be gentle with the young man, he
slaughtered my son. I still grieve for him; oh Absalom,
Absalom, my son Absalom, would to God I could have died
instead of you! For even the rebellion of Absalom came out
of my sin – out of my unwillingness to see evil for what it is
and to confront it with integrity and faith.
IV
There are so many other incidents in my life; I cannot tell
them all. But here I am, growing older if not wiser, weary if
not well, and what is the news I hear? That Goliath, he’s
back! Just about – for again there is war with the Philistines.
Again a giant, no, two giants. One of them the brother of
Goliath and the other a man with six fingers on each hand
and six toes on each foot! In other words, too much!
Overkill! Goliath and his kin will not go away. Evil just keeps
coming at me. What shall I do? With all that I have learned
about evil and its ways, what is my course of action in this
desperate hour?
Eliab; my brother. Do you remember what he said? “I know
the evil of your heart”. How did he know that? Is it possible
that evil is embedded in every human heart, just waiting for
its opportunity? Is it possible that even the best of us, if we
do not fight against every temptation, will succumb? Is it true
that even when we have defeated Goliath and think
ourselves invulnerable, Goliath will be back, bigger than
ever? Pride comes before a fall; and the greatest fall was
not Goliath’s tumble, but my sin. Oh, wretched man that I
am, who will deliver me from this body of death?
I have a dream. I have a dream that one day God will send
one who will fight the battles that we cannot win on our own.
I have a dream today. I have a dream that even if David
cannot beat back monstrous evil, the Son of David will win
that victory. For Goliath is back, larger and more monstrous
than ever before; but if a greater than Goliath is to be
beaten, the victory must come from one greater than David.
He will come; I know He will. And He will save His people
from their sins. He will deal with evil as evil must be dealt
with. He will face it down – perhaps right here, on one of
these hills, just outside the city walls.
As for me, I reflect on my life, my victory-starved, evil-
saturated, defeat-strewn life, in only one way:
Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my
sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is ever
before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this
evil in thy sight ... Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a
right spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence; and
take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy
salvation; and uphold me with Thy free Spirit.
Goliath: he’s back! But he will fall. He’s finished. Victory,
victory, victory is mine.
