Dr. Laura Schlessinger, in her book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, talks about the difference between men and women. She says they are different physically, psychologically, motivationally, and temperamentally. Anyone who has had exposure to babies and children can tell you that boys and girls respond differently to the world right from the start.
Give both a doll and the girl will cuddle it, while the boy will more likely use it as a projectile or weapon. Give them two dolls and the girl will have the dolls talking to each other, while the boy will have them engaged in combat (Dr. Laura Schlessinger, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, HarperCollins, 2003, p. 161; www.PreachingToday.com).
How very true, but our culture has become so gender confused that Twitter and Facebook would censure Laura Schlessinger’s comments as “hate speech” today.
Just this last June (2022), Reuters published a study, which estimates that nearly 1.64 million people over the age of 13 in the United States identify themselves as transgender. That is, they identify as a different gender than their biological gender.
The sad thing is that on “Transgender Day of Visibility” in March, two Biden administration agencies released guidance promoting “gender-affirming” health care for minors. This includes puberty blockers, hormone therapy treatments, and sex reassignment surgery (Jonathan Allen, “New study estimates 1.6 million in U.S. identify as transgender,” Reuters, 6-10-22; Jody Herman, Andrew Flores, Kathryn O’Neill, How Many Adults and Youth Identify as Transgender in the United States? UCLA School of Law, Williams Institute, July, 2022; www.PreachingToday.com).
Such therapies are child abuse, since they irreparably damage children, most of whom would eventually affirm their biological sex as they become adults.
Instead, children and adults who change their sexual identity experience significantly higher rates of suicide and depression. In fact, one study out of Sweden, which affirms transgendered people, found that 10 to 15 years after surgical reassignment, the suicide rate of those who had undergone sex-reassignment surgery rose to 20 times that of comparable peers (Cecilia Dhejne, Paul Lichtenstein, Marcus Boman, Anna L. V. Johansson, Niklas Långström, Mikael Landén, “Long-Term Follow-Up of Transsexual Persons Undergoing Sex Reassignment Surgery: Cohort Study in Sweden,” Plos One Journal, February 22, 2011, https://journals.plos.org/plosone/ article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885; Ryan T. Anderson, Ph.D., “Sex Reassignment Doesn’t Work. Here Is the Evidence,” The Heritage Foundation, March 9, 2018, www.heritage.org/ gender/commentary/sex-reassignment-doesnt-work-here-the-evidence).
The gender confusion in our culture is literally killing people! So what do you do to minister to people in such a culture? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to 1 Corinthians 11, 1 Corinthians 11, which addresses the church in a gender confused culture in the First Century.
1 Corinthians 11:2-3 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God (ESV).
While Paul commends the church for listening to a lot of the teaching he passed on to them, he offers some correction to their theology, especially when it comes to gender. Specifically, he describes a hierarchy in creation the way God designed it: God is the head of Christ; Christ is the head of man; man is the head of woman.
Just as the head of the body gives direction to the rest of the body, so God gives direction to Christ; Christ gives direction to men; and men give direction to women. Now, in the case of men and women, they don’t always follow those directions, but Christ always followed His Father’s direction (John 5:30; 6:38; 7:28; 8:28, 42; 12:49; 14:10, 31).
In fact, Philippians 2 says that even “though He was in the form of God… [He] emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:6-8).
Jesus obeyed His Father to the point of death on a cross. Now, Jesus is in no way inferior to God. He IS God! Rather, Jesus chose to follow His Father’s direction, which brought about our redemption!
In the same way, women are in no way inferior to men. They bear the image of God just like men do! However, when a wife chooses to follow her husband’s direction, as he follows Christ’s direction, wonderful things happen!
It’s the order God established in creation, which our culture and the 1st Century Corinthian culture tried to ignore to their own hurt. Gender confusion creates a real mess, so the church must speak clearly and compassionately on this issue. Specifically, the church should affirm male and female differences, especially in their public gatherings.
1 Corinthians 11:4-5 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven (ESV).
Paul is talking about those who participate in public worship. They offer public prayers or proclaim God’s Word before the assembled believers. Yes, the women as well as the men can preach and pray in the church, but each is to affirm their specific gender by what they wear to church.
Judaism allowed only men to do public ministry, but Christ set women free to do public ministry in the assembly of the church. However, when they do so, women must show respect to the male leadership in the church even as the male leaders show respect for Christ. So, when you’re involved in public ministry…
DRESS TO HONOR YOUR HEAD.
Wear clothes that show respect for those who give you direction. Put on garments that demonstrate the value of your leaders.
In the First Century Church, men honored Christ by uncovering their heads, and women honored their husbands by covering their heads.
You see, a woman’s hair was a sex symbol in First Century Rome, so women covered their hair out of respect for their husbands. Only prostitutes left their hair uncovered to attract men. So if a woman in the 1st Century served on the worship team with her hair uncovered, it would be like a woman today serving in a bikini. It would be highly disrespectful, dishonoring not only herself, but also her husband.
Now, head coverings don’t have the same meaning today as they did in the 1st Century, but the principle still stands: when you’re involved in public ministry, dress to honor your head. Show respect for those God has called to lead you. At the very least, that means dress modestly.
Rhonda Mony, of Lake Elsinore, California, talked about an evening when her husband, Mark, and their preschooler, Krystal, were chatting on the couch. “Daddy, you're the boss of the house, right?” Rhonda heard Krystal ask sweetly.
Mark proudly replied, “Yes, I'm the boss of the house.”
But Krystal quickly burst his bubble when she added, “Cause Mommy put you in charge, huh Daddy?” (Rhonda Mony, Lake Elsinore, California, “Kids of the Kingdom,” Christian Reader; www.PreachingToday.com).
I like that, because no where in the Bible does it say husbands should force their wives to submit, no! God calls husbands to love their wives sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25). On the other hand, God calls wives to submit of their own free-will, because They choose to submit (Ephesians 5:22-24). They choose to put their husbands in charge.
In her book Confronting Christianity, Rebecca McLaughlin writes about her struggles with the concept of submitting to her husband.
She came from an academically driven, equality-oriented, all-female high school, so the idea of submission repulsed her. She knew women were just as competent as men, so why should she submit to a man. It is one thing to submit to Jesus Christ, the self-sacrificing King of the universe. It is quite another to offer that kind of submission to a fallible, sinful man.
Then she trained her lens on God’s command to husbands: love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). And when she realized the lens for this teaching was the lens of the gospel itself, it started making sense. If the message of Jesus is true, no one comes to the table with rights. The only way to enter is flat on your face. Male or female, if we grasp at our right to self-determination, we must reject Jesus, because he calls us to submit to him completely.
In 2019, when she wrote her book, she said, “I have been married for a decade, and I am not naturally submissive. I am naturally leadership oriented. I hold a PhD and a seminary degree, and I am the trained debater of the family. Thank God, I married a man who celebrates this! Yet it is a daily challenge to remember my role in this drama and notice opportunities to submit to my husband as to the Lord, not because I am naturally more or less submissive or because he is more or less naturally loving, but because Jesus went to the cross for me” (Rebecca McLaughlin, Confronting Christianity: 12 Hard Questions for the World's Largest Religion, Crossway, 2019; www.Preachingtoday.com).
Only the gospel provides answers for our gender confused culture. So proclaim it as clearly and compellingly as you can. Proclaim it not only with your words, but also in the way you dress. When you’re involved in public ministry, 1st, dress to honor your head. Then 2nd…
DRESS TO HONOR YOURSELF.
Wear clothes that show some self-respect. Put on garments that demonstrate your value.
1 Corinthians 11:6-7 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man (ESV).
God created both men and women in His image, designed to represent Him in this world (Genesis 1:26-27). Women have the added distinctive of being the glory of man, designed as his “helper” according to Genesis 2:18.
Now, that word “helper” in Genesis 2 elevates a woman’s strength rather than puts her down, because God calls Himself the “helper” of His people several times in the Old Testament (Exodus 18:4; Psalm 10:14; 30:10; 54:4; 115:9; 118:7; 121:1; Isaiah 41:10; Hosea 13:9). You see, God created woman because man needed her strength. He did not create her to be his servant. More than that, God created a woman as a “helper SUITABLE” for the man. That is, God created her to correspond to him in every way as his equal, unlike any of the animals (adapted from Craig Keener, IVP Bible Background Commentary, 2nd edition, IVP Academic, 2014).
Proverbs 12:4 puts it well: “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
God gave both men and women distinctive, yet glorious roles. So when you’re involved in public ministry, dress to reflect those roles; dress to reflect the dignity of who you are as male and female reflecting God’s image.
John of Kronstadt was a nineteenth-century Russian Orthodox priest at a time when none of the priests ventured out of their churches to help the people. They waited for the people to come to them. However, John, compelled by love, went out into the streets. People said he would lift the hungover, foul-smelling people from the gutter, cradle them in his arms, and say to them, “This is beneath your dignity. You were meant to house the fullness of God” (James Bryan Smith, The Good and Beautiful God, IVP, 2009, p. 162; www.PreachingToday.com).
The same goes for you and you and you! You were meant to house the fullness of God no matter how broken you are. So act like it and dress like it, especially in front of the church. When you’re involved in public ministry, 1st, dress to honor your head, 2nd, dress to honor yourself. And 3rd…
DRESS TO HONOR YOUR GENDER.
Wear clothes that show respect for your role as male or female. Put on garments that demonstrate the value of God’s order in creation.
1 Corinthians 11:8-9 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man (ESV).
He needed her help!
1 Corinthians 11:10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels (ESV).
God’ angels are present with us in worship today!
In Ephesians 3:10, Paul says that God made him a minister “so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.”
The angels are watching, so conduct yourself at worship as if you were in heaven, Warren Wiersbe says. Specifically, in this context, wear clothes that reflect God’s order in creation: God creating a woman from the man and for the man. Each has a distinct role as God designed it—the man to lead, the woman to help. So each should dress to honor that role, especially those who participate in the public ministry of the church.
It’s important, because in our gender confused culture, the church must do everything it can to affirm male and female differences. It must celebrate those differences even through the dress of those on the platform.
Psychologist David P. Schmitt recently completed the most exhaustive cross-cultural research study on gender and personality. Writing in the November 7, 2017, issue of Psychology Today, Schmitt contends that research from neuroscience, genetics, cross-cultural psychology, and other scientific fields is conclusive and overwhelming: “There are psychological differences between men and women. And they affect matters as trivial as sensitivity to smelly socks and as significant as susceptibility to disorders such as depression and autism” (Alison Holt, “NHS gender clinic 'should have challenged me more' over transition,” BBC, 3-1-20; Jo Bartosch, “I was not born in the ‘wrong body,” Spiked, 12-1-20; www.Preaching Today.com).
Men and women are wonderfully different. So let’s celebrate those differences even in the way we dress.
Keira Bell was fourteen when she first began identifying as a boy. Two years later, doctors prescribed puberty blockers and testosterone. At twenty, she underwent a double mastectomy to remove both breasts. Then, at 23, she identified again with her biological sex and recently won a lawsuit against the doctors who allowed her to go down this path at such a young age.
At the time, Keira believed that these treatments would help her “achieve happiness.” She said, “I was stuck in severe depression and anxiety. I felt extremely out of place in the world. I was really struggling with puberty and my sexuality and I had no one to talk these things through with.”
When she sought medical help, she thought the medical community would be neutral, presenting both the pros and cons of gender transition. Instead, she says, “Once I arrived [at the gender identity clinic], I was not challenged in any sense, and I was affirmed [as a boy] from the beginning.”
When she questioned her identity, there was no one to counter her delusion of being in the “wrong body.” She said, “No organizations existed that might be able to tell me that it was okay to be a girl who didn’t like stereotypically ‘girly’ things, and that I was no less female because I am same-sex attracted.”
Keira began questioning the ideology behind her transition when she found herself upset about the case of Rachel Dolezal, a white college professor who identified as black. She couldn’t come up with a reason why being transgender was “more valid” than transracial. It was the start of a slow wake-up call…
She had finished her physical transition and her health was beginning to decline. She came to the point where she realized she didn’t want to live a lie and that it was really important to be herself.
Keira looks back on her transition with sadness. Her treatments have left her with permanent facial hair and a lower voice. “There was nothing wrong with my body,” she said, “I was just lost and without proper support. I should have been challenged on the proposals or the claims that I was making for myself. And I think that would have made a big difference as well. If I was just challenged on the things I was saying” (Alison Holt, “NHS gender clinic 'should have challenged me more' over transition,” BBC, 3-1-20; Jo Bartosch, “I was not born in the ‘wrong body,” Spiked, 12-1-20; www.PreachingToday.com).
Well, let the church challenge the culture on this point, and let it provide the proper support for gender confused individuals. So, when you’re involved in public ministry, 1st, dress to honor your head. 2nd, dress to honor yourself. 3rd, dress to honor your gender. And 4th…
DRESS TO HONOR EACH OTHER.
Wear clothes that show respect for the opposite sex. Put on garments that demonstrate the value of men and women to each other.
1 Corinthians 11:11-12 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God (ESV).
The truth is men and women need each other, and we all need God! So dress in such a way to demonstrate that interdependence.
Elizabeth Cody, in Marriage Partnership magazine some time ago said, “I'll be sashaying along through life, feeling pretty cocky, when something will jolt me back into a sense of my neediness—my need for my husband. It could be a fleeting loneliness, a bad day at the office, a troubling phone conversation. And I'm reminded: “As competent and independent as you think you are—you can't go it alone. And you don't have to… That's what marriage at its best does for you: it puts someone in your corner (Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse, Marriage Partnership, Vol. 8, no. 3; www.PreachingToday.com).
So dress in such a way to honor that someone in your corner, especially at church. When you’re involved in public ministry, 1st, dress to honor your head. 2nd, dress to honor yourself. 3rd, dress to honor your gender. 4th, dress to honor each other. And finally…
DRESS TO HONOR PROPER CUSTOM.
Wear clothes that show respect for what the church is already doing. Put on garments that demonstrate the value of current practice in the assembly of believers.
1 Corinthians 11:13-16 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God (ESV).
It is not helpful to be contentious with your clothing, to show rebellion, because it draws attention away from God to you!
Typically, men have shorter hair than women; and typically, women wore head coverings in the 1st Century church. Shorter hair for men is natural, and head coverings for women was customary, so don’t buck nature and custom when you lead in worship, and don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
Early in my ministry here in the Midwest, Sandy and I spent many of our vacations in the east to be with our families. Now, here in the Midwest, church attire is a lot more relaxed than it was in Sandy’s home church in Pennsylvania, where they gave me the opportunity to preach at times. Here, I could go without a tie in the pulpit; but there, I wore a suit and tie and preached from the King James Bible. Why? Because that’s what church folks did in Sandy’s hometown. I wanted to avoid drawing attention to myself, preventing people from focusing on the message. Here, if I put on a suit and tie, you’d think you were at a funeral. It doesn’t work here, but there it did.
In the same way, if you’re going to participate in public ministry, dress in a way that’s appropriate to the context. Ladies, wear what the women normally wear. Men, wear what the men normally wear. And so, honor God, not yourself.
In our gender confused culture, the church must speak clearly and compassionately to those lost in the culture, even by the way we dress. So, if you’re involved in public ministry within the church, dress to honor your head; dress to honor yourself; dress to honor your gender; dress to honor each other; and dress to honor proper custom.
Susan Kimber was tired of struggling with her strong-willed 3-year-old son, Thomas. So she looked him in the eye and asked a question she felt sure would bring him in line: “Thomas, who is in charge here?” Not missing a beat, her Sunday-school-born-and-bred toddler replied, “Jesus is” (Susan C. Kimber, Brea, CA, “Heart to Heart.” Today's Christian Woman; www.PreachingToday.com).
Jesus is in charge, so “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31) even with the choice of clothes you wear to church.
