Affair Proofing Your Marriage

Anyone here like Country Music? I can’t figure it out, they claim that Country Music accounts for 30% of the Radio airplay in Halifax, and yet very few people will admit listening to it. I confess I enjoy country music, although I’m a bit of an anomaly because I really enjoy classic country, not old country with Tex Ritter and Ferlin Husky but classic country with Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggert and the like. I understand that just recently they discovered back masking on country music. That’s when there’s a message that’s only revealed when it’s played backwards. I guess when you play country music backwards, the guy sobers up, gets out of jail and gets his wife back.

Back a number of years ago Randy Travis had a song out called “Reasons I cheat.” This is how part of it went “A working day too long, when everything goes wrong, and a boss who don’t know I’m alive, I once had a notion, I’d get that promotion, but now I barely survive. A wife too demanding with no understanding of why I stay dead on my feet. A dimly lit tavern, a willing young woman are some of the reasons I cheat. My children keep growing, my age keeps on showing, like all my old friends I meet. So I’m getting older, my life’s growing colder, just some of the reasons I cheat. The hair that I’m losing and a woman whose choosing to

When I first heard that song my first thought was, “That is so sad, you can’t blame the guy for cheating” my second thought of course was “what are you thinking?” He shouldn’t have called the song “Reasons I cheat” he should have called it “Excuses for Cheating”. You see there are no reasons for cheating, there may be reasons for separation, there may be reasons for divorce, but there are no reasons for cheating.

Some recent studies indicate that 50% of married men and women will have at least one extramarital affair during their marriage. Think about it, that’s 50 out of 100, 10 out of 20, 1 out of 2 married men and women will cheat on their respective spouses. Hilda Houlding co-ordinator of the Calgary Family Service Bureau, made this comment “An affair is often an attempt to find a little bit of paradise on the side, pursuing the belief that if one just finds the right sexual partner there will be instant happiness and everything will fall into place. An affair is often able to fulfil this myth, until itself becomes a relationship that has to be worked at and looked at in a long term light. Seen in this way “paradise” soon becomes a prison”

The Bible, the word of God takes a very dim view of adultery. In the Old Testament the punishment for cheating was death by stoning. I’ve said before that while it may not have been a deterrent, it sure cut down on repeat offenders. In the New Testament Jesus spoke about Adultery being the only acceptable reason for divorce.

12 years ago Gary Hart had to withdraw as a US presidential candidate because there was speculation about an extramarital affair, in 1999 it seemed that America was quite willing to accept the fact that not only was their President an adulterer but was a serial adulterer.

Today adultery has become almost common place, not only has it reached almost crisis proportion out there, but the crisis has spread into the church as well. That which was unthinkable in the church twenty years ago has become all too common.

Keith Drury is an Author and Professor at Indiana Wesleyan University, listen to what he wrote, “The devil is a liar. No one falls in this area without believing some of the Devil’s lies. God tells the truth. His word is light, not darkness. The Devil may be multiplying his attack on Christians because he has access to modern weapons like, TV, movies, videos, sexual advertising, cable and satellite TV. He serves these stimulants daily in the living rooms of the average Christian, especially those who ‘watch TV to unwind.””

So here’s the bottom line: if we are going to be faithful in our marriage it’s going to be up to us. If you came today to discover how to keep your spouse from cheating on you, surprise. You will never be able to control your partners faithfulness, but you will always be responsible for your side of the relationship. How do you do that? Good question. The answer of course is that we work at it. Grab your pen, cause here are eight suggestions for affair proofing your marriage.

1) Don’t Start Anything. Sounds simple doesn’t it. That fact of the matter is that adultery is one of those things that start innocently enough. A mutual attraction to a neighbour, co-worker, or even someone you go to church with. You both understand each other so well. You have so much in common with one another and you enjoy those quiet moments you have together. They seem more eager to listen to you then your spouse does. Soon there are those special little words that are spoken softly between you. The little pats, a gentle squeeze of your arm, a meaningful glance, a lingering gaze, a quick hug, a short embrace, and eventually you have been led down a path you never intended to walk.