WHEN LIFE IS THE PITS: AN IMPERFECT FAMILY
A. Today we are beginning our Summer Sermon Series about the LIFE of Joseph from Genesis 37-50, titled:
“WHEN LIFE IS THE PITS.” Today we’ll be looking at Joseph’s “IMPERFECT FAMILY”.
1. Of course, the theme: “When Life is the Pits”, is DERIVED from the EVENT that took place when JOSEPH was THROWN into a PIT by his jealous BROTHERS, which we will STUDY next week.
2. Metaphorically speaking, however, LIFE CAN BE THE PITS.
a. EVENTS, RELATIONSHIPS and SITUATIONS don’t always TURN OUT the way we would
LIKE.
b. Like Joseph, we all START OUT in the PIT of BEING HUMAN—living in a FALLEN WORLD
with a FALLEN HUMAN NATURE of doing our OWN THING and going our OWN WAY.
c. And the RESULTS? A LIFE THAT IS THE PITS!
B. What do we know about Joseph?
1. Joseph is the eleventh son of Jacob, the grandson of Isaac and the great-grandson of Abraham.
a. He is Joseph’s FAVORITE SON, and his BROTHERS know it.
b. The FAVORITISM shown to Joseph by his FATHER, had created a SHARP DIVISION between JOSEPH and his BROTHERS.
2. The opening verses that records the Life of Jacob and his SONS, cut straight to the chase revealing the
TENSION in this HOME- Genesis 37:1-11 (READ).
a. This is what FAMILY COUNSELORS would describe as a DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.
b. Yet, what these eleven verses reveal about the extent of the DYSFUNCTION in Joseph’s family, is
just the TIP of the ICEBERG.
COMMENT:
Joseph had three STEPMOTHERS, ten HALF-BROTHERS, one FULL-BROTHER, and a
HALF-SISTER—all LIVING in the HOME at the same time.
His father, Jacob, though generally GODLY, embraced the POLYGAMY that was common in
the day which opened the door to JEALOUSY, INSECURITY and almost constant CONFLICT
among his WIVES.
Jacob was also a PASSIVE PARENT, whose lack of INVOLVEMENT and LEADERSHIP
brought incredible PAIN and CONFUSION to his family.
As a result, Joseph’s BROTHERS took turns being BRUTAL, CONNIVING, and OPENLY
IMMORAL.
c. And that’s just Joseph’s IMMEDIATE FAMILY.
COMMENT:
I don’t even have time to talk about the DECEITFUL LIES of Great-grandfather Abraham that put his wife Sarah’s LIFE and MORAL INTEGRITY in jeopardy, not once but twice.
Nor do we have time to dig into how Grandma Rebekah put his DAD up to STEALING his Uncle Esau’s BIRTHRIGHT.
Nor how Grandaddy Laban SWAPPED sisters on his Dad’s WEDDING NIGHT.
C. The PIT OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION dominated by “lying, deceit, immorality, idolatry, violence,
favoritism and manipulation”, is where Joseph finds himself.
1. And you thought your FAMILY was DYSFUNCTIONAL!
2. The TRUTH is, there are no PERFECT FAMILIES because there are no PERFECT PEOPLE.
COMMENT:
We are ALL SINNERS, and as a result, there will be ISSUES in our FAMILY—some worse than others. Now, it is TRUE that living in an EXTREME dysfunctional family, as did Joseph, could be very difficult to LIVE FOR GOD. But we will LEARN that although it may be DIFFICULT to maintain a FAITHFUL RELATIONSHIP with God in such a FAMILY, it is not IMPOSSIBLE.
3. Joseph was FAITHFUL in an IMPERFECT FAMILY and we want to EXAMINE his life throughout this SERIES to see what INSIGHTS we can GAIN for our own lives, even WHEN LIFE IS THE PITS.
MESSAGE:
I. JOSEPH’S FAMILY
A. His FATHER
1. Although Jacob was the Father of 12 sons and one daughter, he was WEAK and INEFFECTIVE
as a DAD—the classic PASSIVE PARENT.
a. When Joseph was very YOUNG, a GREAT TRAGEDY had befallen this FAMILY.
ILLUSTRATION:
As they were traveling across country, “Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, was RAPED by the son of the ruler of Shechem”- Genesis 34:1-2. So, what did JACOB do when he HEARD that his DAUGHTER had been VIOLATED? NOTHING!
b. But when his SONS learned what had happened to their SISTER they were deeply GRIEVED
and FURIOUS.
ILLUSTRATION:
Realizing that their DAD was going to do NOTHING, they TOOK EXTREME MATTERS in their own hands. They devised a PLAN, and in utter rage ATTACKED and KILLED every MALE in that city, PLUNDERING all their WEALTH and CARRYING OFF their WOMEN and CHILDREN.
c. Once again, when Jacob learned of the MURDER and BRUTALITY that his SONS committed, he did NOTHING to CORRECT his SONS, but only FRETTED that his REPUTATION would be RUINED and that the Canaanites might seek RETRIBUTION.
2. Not only was Jacob a PASSIVE PARENT who didn’t take an ACTIVE INTEREST in his children’s
LIVES, but for 17-years his older SONS had WATCHED as he played FAVORITES with Joseph.
a. “Now Israel [Jacob] loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born
to him in his old age…”- v. 3a.
ILLUSTRATION:
Joseph’s mother was Rachel. Of his four WIVES, Rachel was Jacob’s FAVORITE—the
only one he really LOVED.
She was BARREN for such a long time unable to give her husband a SON. But in Jacob’s OLD AGE she finally gave birth to Joseph and then a few years later to Benjamin, but DIED in CHILD BIRTH.
b. It was quite OBVIOUS to all the other KIDS that Joseph was Dad’s FAVORITE.
ILLUSTRATION:
As parents and grandparents, we would never want our CHILDREN or GRANDCHILDREN
to think that we FAVOR one over the other . . . even if we DID.
Now, my oldest grandson Kaden, who is 20-years-old now and loves to FISH, will often HUG my NECK and say in his DEEP BARITONE VOICE, “Papa, tell me the truth. I’m your FAVORITE grandchild, aren’t I.”
c. Not only did Jacob love Joseph more than his OLDER BROTHERS, he DEMONSTRATED
his FAVORITISM openly in a dramatic way.
COMMENT:
The latter part of verse 3 says, “…and he made a richly ornamented robe for him.” The King James Version says, “…he made him a coat of many colors.” However, the Hebrew word actually describes a ROBE or TUNIC that completely COVERS the BODY—extending to the
ANKLES and the WRISTS.
Now, SCHOLARS do not know for sure what “richly ornamented” means, but do believe it was a GARMENT typically worn by NOBILITY and ROYALTY.
d. The BROTHERS never received such a LUXURIOUS GARMENT from their Father.
COMMENT:
The GARMENTS they WORE were SHORT and SLEEVELESS to enable them to CLAMBER up hills, WADE through creeks and streams, and CARRY sheep on their shoulders.
In essence, Joseph’s GIFT from his Father made it clear to his OLDER BROTHERS that he was EXEMPT from MANUAL LABOR and HARDSHIP. His ORNAMENTAL ROBE indicated that he did not expect to get DIRTY or have it SOILED by HARD WORK.
So, not only was Joseph his Dad’s FAVORITE—he was PRIVILEGED, which only added to the ANIMOSITY that his BROTHERS had toward him.
B. His BROTHERS.
1. We’ve already seen the MURDEROUS and IMMORAL escapades of these BROTHERS when
Joseph was just a young boy.
a. Joseph is now 17-years-old, and whatever AMICABLE RELATIONSHIP he and his brothers may have had when he was just a KID, is NO MORE!
b. “When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they HATED him
and could not speak a kind word to him”- v. 4
COMMENT:
There will always be SIBLING RIVALRY.
How many of you ARGUED and FOUGHT with your SIBLINGS from time-to-time while
GROWING UP? …How many of you still do?
We all did, but it doesn’t mean that we didn’t LOVE each other.
c. This VERSE, however, REVEALS that there is NO LOVE for their LITTLE BROTHER at all. There is so much HATRED for Joseph that they can’t even have a CIVIL CONVERSATION with him.
2. Jacob’s FAVORITISM shown toward Joseph had created a lot of HARM to this FAMILY.
a. He wanted to FAVOR Joseph, but his misplaced AFFECTION brought only undue HURT and
HATRED toward his SON from his BROTHERS.
b. And, frankly, we can see why the BROTHERS would be UPSET for the way they believe that their KID BROTHER was placed in a position of SUPERIORITY over them by their Father.
C. JOSEPH, himself.
1. Although there is no evidence from Scripture that Joseph held ILL FEELINGS towards his brothers
or that he meant them any WRONG, he didn’t always make the WISEST DECISIONS.
a. Joseph SHARES a couple of DREAMS he had with his BROTHERS that actually makes them
“HATE HIM EVEN MORE”- vv. 5-9 (READ and COMMENT)
ILLUSTRATION:
You have to keep in mind that Joseph is just a TEENAGER. (Do you remember when you were 17-years-old?) If you were anything like me, there were times when you made some pretty DUMB CHOICES that got some people UPSET. It wasn’t yours and my INTENTION, but we
just didn’t THINK it THROUGH.
b. The BROTHERS ask Joseph, “Do you intend to REIGN over us? To RULE us?”
COMMENT:
Here is Joseph in his REGAL ROBE sharing a couple of DREAMS that depict his FAMILY—his brothers and his parents—BOWING DOWN to him. (Now, who THOUGHT that would go over WELL?)
2. Of course, we KNOW the REST of the STORY.
a. “His brothers did, in fact, ultimately BOW DOWN to him”- Genesis 42:6.
COMMENT:
This is a PROPHETIC DREAM. God is going to use Joseph to save his FAMILY from a severe FAMINE. Remember, the TWELVE SONS become the TWELVE TRIBES of Israel—the Nation of Israel through whom Jesus Christ would be BORN. God will be using Joseph to PRESERVE his FAMILY in fulfillment of the PROMISE that God made to Abraham.
b. The problem here was not the ACCURACY or TRUTHFULNESS of the DREAMS, but the
serious lack of JUDGMENT on Joseph’s part in SHARING it with his BROTHERS.
COMMENT:
And, yet, we KNOW that what all will TRANSPIRE from this, as DIFFICULT as it will be for Joseph, will all be used by God to FULFILL His PURPOSE to SAVE the WORLD.
II. OUR FAMILY
A. Let me DESCRIBE to you the IDEAL FAMILY—the PERFECT FAMILY.
ILLUSTRATION:
You grow up in a HOME that has never known DIVORCE, and you are ENGAGED to someone who grew up in a HOME that has never known DIVORCE. You get MARRIED right after graduating from COLLEGE.
The HUSBAND and WIFE both start great CAREERS making GOOD MONEY. After two or three years you decide to start a FAMILY. The WIFE gets pregnant and has a beautiful BABY. She decides to put her CAREER on HOLD and be a STAY HOME MOM, which is FINE because the HUSBAND makes PLENTY of MONEY to COVER everything.
ILLUSTRATION (cont):
Things are going so WELL that you decide to have a couple more CHILDREN. The KIDS GROW up HEALTHY, and they make GOOD GRADES in school. HOME LIFE couldn’t be BETTER. MOM and DAD never ARGUE and the KIDS never FIGHT. There are no FAMILY DRAMAS to get everybody UPSET—just a HOME that abides in PEACE and HARMONY.
The KIDS get into GREAT UNIVERSITIES, which LEAD to GREAT CAREERS. They eventually get MARRIED to SPOUSES who grew up in HOMES that had never known DIVORCE, and bring wonderful GRANDKIDS to MOM and DAD who all LOVE each other and GET ALONG great. And EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
COMMENT:
I’m just curious. How many of you have a HOME LIFE like that? Now, there may be FAMILIES like that, somewhere. And I think that is the kind of FAMILY LIFE that we should all ASPIRE to. But most aren’t like that.
B. Frankly, FAMILY LIFE can be MESSY.
1. It’s EFFECTED by SIN. It’s EFFECTED by HUMAN WEAKNESS.
a. We may all START OUT in MARRIAGE with the GOAL of working toward having the IDEAL
FAMILY, but more times than not FAMILIES become MESSED UP.
COMMENT:
There are BROKEN FAMILIES, BLENDED FAMILIES, FATHERLESS FAMILIES, FAMILIES in CRISIS.
b. But if there is one thing that we LEARN from the FAMILY of JOSEPH, is that God can WORK through MESSED-UP FAMILIES.
2. This study reveals that our MESSED-UP FAMILY—whether it is in the PAST or the PRESENT or the FUTURE, does not mean that God has FORSAKEN US, or that He cannot work IN or
THROUGH the MESS to produce GOOD from the BAD.
a. But, brothers and sisters, this doesn’t mean that God just wants us to SETTLE with having a
MESSED-UP FAMILY.
b. His Word REVEALS throughout the OLD and NEW TESTAMENTS how we are to RELATE
to one another as HUSBANDS and WIVES and PARENTS and CHILDREN.
c. In fact, there are SPECIAL BLESSINGS promised to those FAMILIES who SEEK God and
remain OBEDIENT to Him.
COMMENT:
So, we need to RECOGNIZE the ROOT CAUSE of the DYSFUNCTION in our FAMILIES, and SEEK God’s WISDOM through PRAYER and the STUDY of His WORD to learn what we can do to MAKE whatever CHANGES that we need to MAKE within OURSELVES to BREAK the CYCLE of the DYSFUNCTION so that our FAMILIES can be more ALIGNED with what God wants THEM to be.
CONCLUSION:
THERE ARE NO PERFECT FAMILIES
